To See or Not To See

A guy asked me to go on a trip so we could meet each other in person. We’ve known each other for more than a year now. He’s a funny, smart, talented man. I also admire his level-headedness on days when I am highly emotional and not thinking straight.


About 3 months after we met online, he already asked to see me in person. After that, he invited me again. I always have an excuse not to come see him.


For the record, let’s make one thing clear, I do want to meet him in person, too.


Now, he invited me again. After some lengthy discussion, I AGREED to come see him.


The problem is in the execution of the agreement. The bottleneck is stuck at who is going to book the ticket. In fairness to him, he promised to reimburse me when we meet. He promised to pay for all my hotel expenses, as well.


From his perspective: If he does my booking, it’s as if he’s forcing me to come see him. Secondly, he does not want to book my ticket, and lose money IF I change my mind.


From my perspective: I already agreed. To me, him booking my flight, seals that agreement. It means, I am bound by my honor to do my part of the agreement –that is to see him in person. I have respect for other people’s money, which means, it would be against my personal principles, if I don’t come see him after he paid for my flight. In other words, if he booked my ticket right after I agreed to see him, there is no way on earth that I will change my mind. 🙂


Of course, I can afford to book my own ticket. But here’s the thing, I’m using my own money. I can always change my mind! It’s my money after all. I can waste it if I want to. 🙂


Also, I don’t think it’s coercion if he’s the one to book my ticket. In the first place, I already agreed. All he has to do is secure that agreement. But he doesn’t see it the way I do.

Am I stubborn? Maybe meeting him in person is just not meant to be.


Oh well, I guess, we’ll be moving on with our respective lives.


I wish him well.



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