30 Years and 1 Day

No, it’s not a prison sentence. That’s how old I am now. When I was younger, I could not wait to grow up. At 8 years old, I started learning to play the piano and I loved making music. I don’t know anyone else who shared my love for music. In high school, I was more interested in computers, internet, free books, directing plays, and playwriting, while the rest of my classmates were interested in boys. I am not really anti-social. It’s just that I know only a few who shared my interests. I was considered a geek. During those days, if you talk to me over the phone, you’d think I was 21 or older.  Most of the time, I felt out of place.

After some years, I went to college. It was a whole new world to me. However, I did not feel having a hard time adjusting socially considering that I come from a sheltered upbringing. That time, I was literally one of the old people in class. The disadvantage of this is that the younger people in class will always look up to you as if you know all the answers. Overall, I did have a wonderful time in college. Perhaps the part of college that I really enjoyed the most is learning not to take myself seriously. I belong to the so-called outcasts -criticized for irresponsibility and happy-go-luckiness. Oddly though, the same group was considered sort of elite because we did get good grades.

Law school was another totally different world. It’s like they force you to grow up quickly. Imagine being asked something that only a practicing lawyer could answer. Totally mind blowing. They’re simply teaching students not to depend on teachers. Independence and being responsible for your learning are grown up stuff. Helping other people sort out their mess is a very grown up thing, too.

Sometimes grown up stuff makes me want to go back to younger days where my only concern was myself. It’s not everyday I want to be a help to anyone. Sometimes I simply get tired or burnout. Human nature has its way of getting out the worst in us. It is only by the grace of God that we can be kind to others. It is only by the grace of God that we would want to live on and give our time and efforts for the betterment of others.

When I count my blessings NOW, of course, I’d rather be here than anywhere else.

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