The moods are swinging violently. I wonder if this is akin to how a menopausal woman feels. However, this is not a post about women’s health issues. This is about some character issues of my own. These past weeks, I am often tempted to go along with the moods. I do not know what I am capable of doing under the power of such moods. I’d probably run amok for no reason at all. Even with a tiny reason, the moods could amplify it to such unreasonable proportions.
Just last week, I couldn’t stop myself from feeling frustrated and crossed. It was actually a petty matter, but it didn’t sit well with my idealistic mind. Or was it my idealism or just my pride? Either way, I am still convinced there was a conspiracy –as early as Wednesday morning.
I was torn between letting it go and writing a formal letter of inquiry for a full blast investigation. It’s like asking your local purok council to conduct a “purok inquiry” in aid of legislation. Yes, it’s just now I see how idiotic my idea was. Many of my good friends advised against the idea. It was also interesting how God spoke to me through the Sunday morning message entitled, “The Only Way to Win.” It was about learning to forgive to overcome bitterness and rise above life’s difficult circumstances.
Was it just me or something else? It was suppose to be a goodwill competition, but I felt like we were all there for something else sinister. Sorry, I don’t know how else to describe it. The annual competition is designed to strengthen the bond between us, to keep reminding us we are one in curriculum, in values, in objectives and especially in faith as we all walk this road towards the accomplishment of the Great Commission.
I’m trying to get this off my system. After I say my piece, I promise I will never talk about this again. I was extremely irked because to me it was a glaring insult against the very values we teach our students. Yes, I do agree that perfection in this lifetime is impossible –at least we try to pursue excellence. Each choice to do the right thing is a step towards the attainment of perfection. But then again, maybe I am indeed overly idealistic about this matter…
On the brighter side, I am rather pleased that the students showed progress in sportsmanship and in character. They conquered themselves –their nervousness, fears, fatigue, laziness, and mood swings, etc., etc., -and played well earning medals, trophies, respect and admiration of their fellow students. Losing is also good once in a while. I hope it taught them that failing is not fatal, that they can try again and that they can actually excel thru hard work and patience by the grace of God. I will certainly make sure they join next year’s competition.
Today, I feel restless. I feel as if something exciting is about to happen. I must’ve had too much sugar. I was smiling quietly while having dinner with my youngest brother, Jules. I did not notice he was observing me. Finally, he asked me whether I was smiling because I’m happy or because I’m sick. LOL
Tomorrow, my mood might be different.
The trouble with moods is that they’re so volatile and subject to change without prior notice. 🙂 If we act as our moods dictate our emotions, we’ll always end up in trouble. We will be good in making enemies, damaging our Christian testimonies, damaging friendships and relationships, and saying hurtful things which we can never ever take back no matter what we do.