Learning to Have a Relaxed Grip

“Hold everything in your hand lightly, otherwise it hurts when God pries your fingers open.”-Corrie Ten Boom


So you think you deserve to keep this particular object in your hand? Why? Because of some divine right? Because of some sentimental reasons? Because of a blasted right? (Darn, I am getting tired of the R word, actually.) Some would say, “I’m holding on to it simply because I want to.”

We have this tight grip like children do when holding on to a tiny, candy. You know, that kind of grip where your knuckles turn white while maintaining that unyielding, closed fist. That’s exactly like our knack for holding on tightly to things be it a job, car, house, land, or money. Now, don’t get me wrong here. I’m not saying we don’t need things.

Many of our headaches come from the fact that we can’t let go of anything that we think we SHOULD have. For instance, we know we can live without watching soap operas –the stories are predictable and crappy, anyway. But why do we put up with the stress of paying for the TV on installment basis including interests and penalties when we fail to pay on time? “Well, we just have to keep up with the neighbors.”

We would rather sue someone who owes us 10K, unmindful of the fact that the lawyer we just hired billed us 50K as acceptance fee alone -not counting appearance fees and docket fees, plus the hassle of who knows how long will it take until the case be resolved. Why? In this case, the problem is pride.

We’d rather endure the troubles of maintaining possession and ownership over the thing rather than live a stress-free life. We would rather be brash and irrational because of some freakening right! (There goes the R word again. Sigh…) So we’d rather be destructive just to prove our entitlement? Can’t we prove our entitlement in some peaceful way without us getting arrested for Malicious Mischief?

I know, Jesus taught us to give people the left cheek when they strike the right cheek or something like that to teach us humility. But I am also sure He never taught us to just sit quietly when we know wrong is wrong. I’m just saying we can’t right a wrong by doing another wrong. Like for instance, someone stole from you and you go right after him shooting him because he stole from you, and then you ended up in jail. Stupid.

We also have this idiotic way of holding on to hurtful people or unhealthy relationship. We hold on even when God is clearly showing us through the circumstances itself to give it up.


“I just can’t forget him! Every time I close my eyes, I see him. In fact, I see him everywhere!”

“Maybe he’s everywhere…”

“Oh he’s not a ghost!”

“Who says he’s a ghost!? Didn’t you just say he’s everywhere??”

(I’m getting carried away!) 😀

Seriously, someone told me it’s not about forgetting -it’s about accepting –accepting it’s over. That’s it. No bitterness, just being sincerely grateful. Then, move on with life.

A sure way to avoid clinging on to things and experiencing all the troubles of holding on to them is to keep in mind that God owns everything. God owns you. God owns me. God owns whatever I have and I am just a steward. Being His steward, I have no claim to whatever is in my hands. He can take them away whenever He wills and whenever He does, I am fully assured that it’s always for my best interest. I know it is very painful to part with something or someone we’re attached to emotionally. But it is more painful to hold on and fight God when He pries our fingers open.  


3 Replies to “Learning to Have a Relaxed Grip”

  1. nice one ate avon…”Many of our headaches come from the fact that we can’t let go of anything that we think we SHOULD have.”-favorite line in the article.

  2. I can listen to lots of sermons about forgiveness and letting go and i’d always say “Amen”. But guess what? whatever is being preached is not unknown to me. It’s a knowledge that is being reminded over and over again from different people, churches and situations. But why is it that it’s extremely hard to reinforce? You said it right, because of pride. Therefore what’s the point of preaching more and more? What’s the need of reminding? I guess, that’s because we are to be reminded of what we have to ask in prayer. We want to forgive and let go, we want to apply what we know, but unless we ask God to give us the heart capable of forgiving and letting go, and unless we allow God to take the lead, we will never be able to apply whatever is well-said. Prayer is the mechanism that can aid us in applying the fruits of the Holy Spirit.

    Wonderful words, day 🙂

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